To fight or to accept
The process of replacing the external control psychology beliefs (S-R) with the Choice Theory beliefs (CT) and their integration involves changes in various aspects of this process.
During the workshop, we will pay attention to changes in total behaviour in the function of changing beliefs, including the occurrence of so-called “symptom” behaviour that we associate with the most common (long-term) struggle against someone or something. We fight against someone or something when we believe that the other is to blame, manifesting personal creativity through a whole range of diverse, often “subtle”, visible and invisible behaviours associated with the meaning of “fighting “. We often fight against our own behaviours that we want to get rid of, so we also fight against ourselves, when we are not the way we would like to be. We fight to “get rid” of our perceived fears, anxieties, symptoms of illness etc.
We struggle when we feel like we have fallen into a trap set for us by others. However, the “trap” is the way we perceive the world around us, ourselves and other people. The way out of the trap involves understanding, accepting and integrating beliefs that we give our own interpretation of everything within and around us. It involves CT believing that others cannot control me; I am not frustrated by another person’s behaviour but my own expectations and by interpreting the behaviours of others. Fighting with others becomes unnecessary when I realize that I cannot change others, just as they cannot change me. Everyone has his or her own expectations, perception and responsibility for his or her own behaviour. The process of changing beliefs involves self-assessing past beliefs, understanding and experientially testing new beliefs and integrating them into new, “reprogrammed” behaviours.
By embracing CT beliefs, we can work to better meeting our needs, to achieve better inner balance by aligning with others and circumstances, we can become a different, more favourable circumstance for other people. Accepting new beliefs often means change, which in itself is not easy because it involves accepting one’s own responsibility for one’s life, without the “culprits on duty”, which we are not always ready for.
Through various exercises and discussions in small groups, we will have the opportunity to share our understanding of the process of changing beliefs and find answers to various questions such: How from CT aspect understand the “fight or flight” mechanism described in psychology related to “defense mechanisms” facing stressful situations. How do we understand the statement that a more permanent change in behaviour is not possible if we do not change our beliefs? Why is this process often difficult and time consuming? What sense do we find in supporting S-R beliefs that we sometimes find hard to renounce? How do we understand the possible benefits of accepting S-R beliefs and the behaviours we generate from them? Can we “get rid” of frustration and stress forever by changing our beliefs?